Saturday, February 23, 2008

Some news

I want you to know how much I miss time to blog. Even now, as I take these few minutes that will likely extend into more than a few, I am swamped with duties to attend. Typical weekend duties of washing clothes, running the vacuum, cooking, things I used to enjoy more than not, have easily become wearisome tasks.

School continues to fly by. I do love what I do but I do not always love where I am. I love teaching. I love learning new material to impart to my students. I love seeing students beyond-excitement over falling in love with Little Women, a book I handed as required reading to two of my sixth grade girls. I love being able to hone my skill and expertise as a classroom teacher.

I feel a little like Cynthia Coppersmith gushing about what she loves. Then when Father Tim asks, "What don't you love?" Cynthia answers with just as many antithetical points. For me, I don't like being spread thin in classes that just need someone to act as teacher. I don't like spending much of my time as a learning disabilities teacher that I am not. I don't like spending much of my time as disciplinarian. I don't like glossing over textbook material which devotes less than a page to the wondrous empire of the Incas instead of delving into the fascinations of these people. I don't like teachers harping on my make-the-most-of-every-minute mentality. I don't like teachers telling me to "ease up, relax, don't worry about it 'cause the kids don't care anyway" jargon I hear every. single. day.

Can you tell I'm conflicted? Yes, but I still love what I do within the kingdom of my classroom. The children are learning. They are thinking. They are progressing. Well, most of them anyway. My thorns-in-the-flesh-classroom are also progressing but the problem here is that their neediness slows down the entire class. I am not a learning disabilities teacher. And I can only discipline within my realm. Whatever discipline problems I pass onward and upward through the hierarchy of the administration, I must not let it niggle away at me.

So, onward to conquer those weekend duties and lesson plans for next week. Oh, and one glimmer...my dream classical school called me out of the blue this week. I spent thirty minutes yesterday in a telephone interview with them. They have many positions to fill for next year because of their swelling enrollment. They want to have the positions filled by Easter. I pray I am in the running. And I'd appreciate your prayers as well.

4 comments:

Laurie said...

My heart goes out to you and with you. Having taught for 25+ years (both private & public), I have experienced both the positives and the negatives that you share. I sincerely pray that the Lord leads you and that if it's His will, you will indeed be teaching at that classical school next year. In the meantime, as Elizabeth Elliot encourages, "just do the next thing." In Him, Laurie Xanga

DebD said...

My dd, who is in private school, has a teacher similar to what you have described. I really think the poor man needs to retire.

I will add your request to my prayers. I sure hope it works out for you.

Kathleen Hamilton said...

Thank you for the update! You are one inspiring gal. I'll continue to pray that something opens up at the "dream" school!

Ann said...

I wrote you a long and most heartfelt comment, which my computer somehow immediately deleted. I just want to say that you're in my prayers, and that you need to remember that school is everything for some kids. It was my life. Not that I had a bad life outside school, but this was the stage for my greatest triumphs and passions (reading, writing, learning), even to this day. I can remember almost every single one of my teachers in 23+ years of education, and I count myself lucky not to have had any of the ho-hums, at least that I was aware of. Hang in there, and KNOW that you make a HUGE difference in the life of some children (maybe even those learning-disabled ones that I'm sure you're kind to).